Found

i’ve been rather lost lately. Unsure what i was doing, drifting around and unable to complete anything. But, i’m getting back on track. Last night i managed to sleep at night for the first time in ages. my happy pills helped in part, but also sheer exhaustion. It wasn’t the greatest night’s sleep i’ve ever had, i was up about every hour, but i DID sleep and damn i needed it!
J and i have had rather steamy sex a couple of times lately and i have a nice purple and blue bruise from the paddle. i promise to tell you guys all about the next time, but i’ve lost the details of the previous times. i usually blog almost immediately after a scene, but lately we’ve had so much to do, i’ve jumped up almost immediately afterwards and ran around somewhere. Not conducive to telling you folks about it.
We are working very hard on Brad’s potty training right now. It is a pain in the ass, but i feel it will ultimately be one of the best things i have ever done for him. i carried the bugger around in my stomach, puking and nearly dying for 9 months. i can do this too. Just expect to hear some bitching when we pitch his diapers and my life consists of cleaning up piss and shit and all the time. It’ll be worth it if it works, but that doesn’t mean i won’t get sick of it and bitch and raise hell to you guys. MUH HA HA HA!
Kami is coming today. We are going to get her Halloween costume (she is going to be a princess… AGAIN) and then carve her pumpkin. She is such a wonderful kid, i am so proud of her. Sometimes when i look at my babies i feel my heart will explode with love for them. Other times i think my head will explode, lol.
i promise to get my act together on updating. Once a week is not cutting it. i have way more to say than that. So expect to hear from me more often. And, not all of it pissing and moaning, hehe.

i Want…

…touch. Fingers circled around my throat, teeth clamped on my nipple, hand burried in my hair to pull my head back and look into my eyes.
…pain. The kiss of the whip that makes me cry out and writhe. The crop singing its melody of anguish on my ass and thighs. The inescapable firey fury of the paddle.
…cock. The satiny skin of J’s cock exposed to my tongue’s worship. The burning ripping joy of it being thrust into my dry resisting pussy. The splitting agony of being taken anally.
…J. i want to be held as his good girl, beaten as his bitch, used as his whore, and loved as his complete partner. i want to feel him grind me into nothingness and hold me close and tight and make me everything. i want to see myself reflected in his eyes as the most beautiful special being he has ever known. i want to be dragged down and crawl as an objectified cunt he can replace.

i want it all. i want J in all of his multisided glory. Soon.

(my spell check doesn’t seem to be working… fuck it.)

i’m a happy bunny…

you are the “you suck, and that’s sad”
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.

which happy bunny are you?
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And, no… i still haven’t gotten laid. For fuck’s sake.

Random Stuff

So, its been way too long. Kidney stones, computer foul ups, insanity have reigned supreme. But, i won the war and here i am. HA!

Tomorrow is Iris’s 24th birthday. i cannot believe my neice is getting so grown up. i gave her 20 bucks to buy tools for her new job. Usually she gets junk. i am very proud of her.

Vanessa had her wedding thing. It went well, although Iris and Vanessa nearly drove me completely INSANE. Well, insaner. Oh hush. Being trapped with two bi polars under intense pressure is just too much for anyone to put up with. Thank goodness for mary jane is all i can say.

i have not gotten laid in a while and i am consequently grumpy. Brad’s respite workers all suck. And we are working on potty training him which is a massive pain in the ass.

More when something interesting happens or something strikes me to blog about.