J is so fucking hot. Every line of his body says that he is in charge. Every gesture, every word makes me feel more tightly controlled. More his. We are both sick, which would once have ripped our intimacy to shreds and left me thinking dire thoughts about him. Instead we had hot lustful (if coughing and hacking) passionate sex last night. i love the fact that his cock gets hard with whipping me. That there is always an electricity between us that could ignite at anytime.

We are better on softer level as well. More likely to be snuggled up and laughing together than me watching tv and him playing his computer game or vice versa. So many times we have been cut off from each other and now i feel fully connected and its fantastic. Not to say he doesn’t do other things or have other interests, he does. Its just… i know that i’m one of his main interests again. 🙂

Vanessa is having her back surgery on November 7th. i dread it. i don’t know how i will take care of her all the time and still take care of my own family. Its going to be tough. i wish she would just break down and hire a fucking home health nurse to help me. She’s so selfish though that she’d rather work me to death than have a stranger in her home a little. It pisses me off.

Jenny started her new job today. i think i’ll call and see how it went.