Well. i got laid in a wonderfully scrumptiously painful way. It was complete with belt strokes, flogging, nipple torture and anal. Yummy. Wonderful sex. But, in the middle of it J said to me, “you’ll try harder to get better, won’t you?” That’s when i realized just how long i’ve been doing so poorly. Its bad. Its been bad for a long while now. And, i don’t know how to make it better. Burying my head in the sand doesn’t seem to be working. Imagine that.
A lot of it is stress. We are financially fucked and i had to hustle to just get all the bills covered and food on the table for the next week. Its depressing. Then there is Brad’s constant illnesses and the fact that J keeps getting sick and having to miss work. Brad’s home program. Oh god, that one alone. Anyway, you get the point, i’m under a lot of stress.
All this stress makes it hard for me to try to sort out what’s going on with me and do something about it. Being crazy is a full-time job and right now i don’t have time for it. i’m busy with my other full time job… being a wife and mother. i don’t have time to journal or do my artwork or any of the other things that help. i barely have time to breath. So i look to end up in trouble for being super fruity. Because i can’t calm down enough to work on it.
Dammit
Always His angel 