Fooling Kami

So i missed yesterday’s post.  Mostly because every time i sat down in front of the computer J needed something.  He concurs that this was the problem so i’m not in trouble.  i have a feeling its going to be hard to follow this post every day rule when he doesn’t work.  Just because he likes my attention on him when he is in the house.  Not unreasonably.

So about yesterday… It was the anniversary of my mother’s death and Kami’s birthday party across the mountain.  That is so hard.  i have to pretend to be superfly fine when i feel like i’m falling to a million pieces inside.  i don’t know why my mother’s death is still so hard for me.  i know i should be over it a bit by now, but i’m just not.  Every year its hard.  Most of the time Kami’s bday falls in the middle of the week and this isn’t a big deal because i can mourn my mother on the 24th and still be super mom by the party.  This year it just didn’t work out that way.  i hope i was able to fool her.