We all go through cycles in our relationships. Sometimes we are very close (like now) and sometimes the ties that bind us together grow thin and frayed. i don’t know why its like this, why we can’t always feel warm and fuzzy. But, i do know i truly appreciate the close times when they come around and that i mourn the distant times when the come to pay their respects.
i go through similar cycles with my illness. Sometimes i do very poorly. Flashbacks, body memories, voices, screaming, and just general icky nutsiness. Lately i’ve been struggling a bit. March is a very hard time for me. February too. Late winter is just bad.
Anyway.
Today i was talking with LK and i realized that i’m proud of the fact that i’ve mostly learned to live with my illness. It gives me a real sense of accomplishment. Despite the sticky notes, the pill box, and the other little things i have to do to make it through day to day life, i do in fact make it through. At one time that seemed impossible. It seemed like i would never function again and J would always have to pick out my clothes because even that choice overwhelmed me. i’ve come a very long ways. These days i can keep my house, take care of Brad, and please J with nice meals.
Yay me!
Always His angel 